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Friday, December 11, 2009


Today, I have had this enormous and insatiable desire to go home. It's not the location, it's the people and the environment they create. I want to be in my house, where it's warm and there's a sort of happy yet calming glow about its rooms.

I want to be with my mother, who will take care of me but keep me humble and remind me that I have responsibilities to my family. There is a special connection between mother and child; I feel like I am still her baby, and that's something I want to be.

I want to be with my father, who spoils me rotten with everything I need and most of what I want, and whose relentless attempts at teasing humor and ridiculous jokes offer relief for the tension and stress that inhabit every day. He makes sure I don't take myself too seriously.

I want to be with my sister, whose sarcasm keeps me on my toes. Our conversations span the spectrum--we cover everything from ignorant gossip to thought-provoking discussions on literature and film and why people are inspired to create such things.

I want to be with my brother, who's always ready for a game. I need to share his energy. He is so resourceful and clever, absorbing himself in the most unique and thoughtful projects. His creativity astonishes me; he's unlike any other boy I have met.

This could have something to do with the fact that lately I have felt exhausted and wary. It could be that I feel like I am not living up to the expectations I have for myself. Regardless of my reasons, I need to be in that place. Even if I do not speak or move, I need to have its warmth surrounding me.

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